Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Student teaching is amazing. Living in a dorm and still being too involved in campus stuff while student teaching isn't quite as easy as I thought it would be, but it is all most definitely worth it. Monday I took over two Algebra II accelerated classes. The students are overall respectful and obedient. The class that I have to start teaching by March will be neither respectful or obedient, they are already testing my limits and I am only assisting in that class now. Controlling 35 rambunctious students will definitely be a learning experience. The teacher I am working with continues to amaze me, I want to be just like her!

The past two days I was feeling overwhelmed with the community service project I am getting started (I keep waiting for a permanent leader to emerge, and waiting...), and that we have all sorts of events coming up that we aren't ready for and that my new schedule conflicts with everyone. Then today, I came home and checked my email, and my amazing board took care of everything for all the events. Tomorrow I can hand over my project to the volunteer coordinator at the org they are working for. And, granola bars were on sale today. Life is good.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

i missed the middle

When I arrived at college my friends all named me mom. I took care of everyone, anyone's problems were mine to solve and everyone had to be happy all the time. I was a shoulder to cry on, the alcohol monitor and the bouncing board for any decision to be made. I liked taking care of people, but there came a point where I realized I need to take care of me. My shoulder is still functional, I keep an eye on others and I'm always happy to listen, but I stopped contributing. If someone is making bad decisions and asks for my input, I give a brief analysis and then move on. It doesn't stay with me like it used to, if someone is upset I can still go out and have a great time. I thought I'd solved my problem of being everyone's keeper, I thought it was good that I was keeping my nose out of other people's business. Apparently I've been very vocal this year about not caring about everyone's decisions. Sometimes this has been praised, other times not, but either way I've been described as a bit more callous than I ever expected to be. It is infuriatingly frustrating to be too involved, but I think I'd like some of the 'mom' back, and I don't know where it went.


The number of people on campus has tripled in 2 days. Walking anywhere is a scary experience with people yelling out your name from all directions. Makes me feel like I actually know a lot of people, but at the moment it is rather overwhelming. I'd rather feel like I know a lot about crocheting. My blanket is actually starting to look like something other than a pile of yarn! I've turned into such an old lady, all I'm missing are cats to play with the balls of yarn. I have plants to take care of instead, and they don't make a mess of my projects. Okay, I'm just a little pathetic, maybe I'll leave the room tonight.

Monday, January 22, 2007


I made lots of important decisions today. For one, I figured out how many squares will be in my afghan (crochet speak for blanket). I also decided where I'll be spending the semester and the summer. I'm not taking the job offer since the teacher I was originally working with is great and I don't want to give up that support. I'll be spending part of the summer on campus again doing math camp. I think I might have chosen math camp over a vacation to San Francisco. Does that say a lot about me? Really, I just can't spend the whole summer at home, and I don't need 3 months to find a place to live (at least I hope I don't!!). Tomorrow I have to decide other essential things such as what to request in my bag lunch. Scary decisions will be put off to at least the weekend. These would include how to spend my Feb. break and where to move next year. I may spend the break figuring out where to move...

Sunday, January 21, 2007


Today I have a love hate relationship with the word 'curb.' I watched 6 episodes of 'curb your enthusiasm' and was highly amused. However, as I was leaving the parking lot this afternoon I ran over the curb and it sliced my tire. What happened to those nice, rounded, harmless bits of concrete that edged the roads? Sure the fancy stone with a sharp right angle looks classy, but its the edge of the road, I'd really rather it be safe than pretty. Since no one took my vote into consideration while re-doing the road, my tire was badly injured and I spent 40 minutes in 25 degree weather waiting for AAA feeling helpless. I know how to change a tire, but knowing how to do something and actually being able to are two entirely different things. Maybe someday if I drink lots of milk I'll grow up to be big and strong and able to unscrew my own lug nuts. Until then, thank you AAA.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


I was walking across campus today and was stopped by one of the education professors. She told me that she just got a call from a local high school that they are in desperate need of a math teacher for this semester. She talked it over with one of my other professors and they decided I would be capable if I wanted to take it. I wouldn't get paid for the classes I would be teaching for student teaching, but I might get paid for anything beyond that. Am I really ready to go solo? Actually, the more pressing question is- is it worth it? A semester of support from a teacher I get along well with vs. a semester of complete independence. I could do anything I wanted with this new position, but I don't know how limited I would be where I was planning to go. I don't need more decisions to make, I wanted decisions to be made for all the questions I already have...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

no good?

So today I decided I liked the sound of Michigan for next year. Water sounds fun, I've always liked lakes and huge (great) ones are even better. Far enough north for full spectrum of weather, close enough but not too close to home. It is also rated 5th highest for teacher salaries and my license works there. Fits all of my requirements, but apparently those are insufficient. The friends said Michigan isn't cool enough- how do I know if a state is cool? Maybe some cities are okay... it has GLBT community centers, I thought that was a good sign. Tomorrow I will get precise details on what is necessary for a state to be acceptable by my friends requirements.

The pool opened again today. Yay for smelling like chorine. It makes me feel clean, even though that is contrary because it just reminds me how I haven't showered. I'm very determined to keep on a consistent gym schedule so I won't notice the lost time when the semester starts. I think I can do it, I'll have to put gym time in my permanent schedule before I print it out.

Sunday, January 14, 2007


I slept until 11:30 yesterday and 12 today, j-term is really screwing with my schedule. I swore I was going to get to breakfast every day this month but I just missed three days in a row. The icky weather really isn't helping me to wake up. Yesterday I browsed job postings but just got overwhelmed and decided to spend my day playing games instead. At least I'm being social and seeing all the people that I haven't seen in ages. Maybe I'll put hanging out with people on my list of things to do so I can feel satisfied in checking it off.

Friday, January 12, 2007

close your eyes and point

I went to the career center again this morning. I have come to the conclusion that my future will be very arbitrary. At the moment I'm missing snow and think that living near water would be nice, so I'll look for jobs in the north on the west coast and by the great lakes. I saw a commercial with big trees a month ago and that made me decide that I wanted to move near the redwood forest, but I just looked it up and I'm not allowed to teach in California. Is there a better way to do this? It seems like I should be taking other things into account, but I don't really know what they are.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

busy bee me

So, remember when I was sick of having nothing to do? Some may think I've overcompensated, but I'm feeling quite content. I get up in the morning, spend the hours from 10-12 building houses, 2-4 teaching class, 5-6 at the gym and 7-9 learning to crochet. During the breaks I eat 3 meals and a snack, watch movies, read blogs and complete my 2 daily puzzles (Mensa puzzle and brainteaser page a day calendars). The weather has fluctuated so much that in the past week I could be found in anything from tank top and sandals to long underwear and 6 layers. I saw snow flakes last night, and in some places they even lasted more than 3 seconds on the ground. Maybe there is hope for a day of sledding yet.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

look at that time!

I'm happy to report that today was productive. Good thing since today lasted 18 hours! I went to the career center this morning and I now have a very professional resume, an outline of a cover letter and references. Impressive since I started the day with a resume that I threw together for a summer job over a year ago. I also rented 5 DVDs (rent 3 get 2 free), putting the tally up to 6 discs we have to watch in the next five days. I went to the gym for the start of my new year's resolution (I know I'm a little late, I was working up to working out). Then I went to dinner and started a conversation that has lasted a long time. Talked about some new things, rehashed some old things, heard funny stories and made interesting connections. Then, all of a sudden, it was 3 am. Of course, instead of heading directly to bed like a sane person, I had to pause to document it all. However, as we emphasized this evening, if I can question my sanity I'm not completely gone. With that final accomplishment, I head to bed.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

well, its like this

Between last night and tonight I've watched 8 episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I find myself thinking like Larry David now. This concerns me. I hope that a few hours sleep will cure this unusual train of thought.

I can't decide if today was productive or not. I certainly accomplished things, but looking at my January to-do list I don't know if it is too long or too short. It looks like a tornado went through my room, but its an organized chaos. I never used to believe people who said that their mess was controlled, but I now see that it is really just a question of space. I can't put everything away until I know where it goes, and I won't know where it goes until I can see everything I have to put away. Therefore, for the time being, my room is a maze. By tomorrow night it should be amazingly put together instead.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007


I'm always amazed how happy it makes me to come back to school. It certainly also helped that it was a beautiful sunny day, but being in my own room, with a long list of things to do makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

New years was an interesting event, ended up in Brooklyn, had a fun time but I really would have been content to spend a quiet evening at home. Although, that could have resulted in me actaully realizing that I was awaiting the arrival of 2007. Since I have been telling myself for months that I don't have to worry about the future until January, being to cognizant of the impending arrival of January wouldn't have been fun. As it is, I'm vaguely aware that I'm supposed to be making an appointment with the career center soon. But not right now, because its lunch time.