Thursday, May 31, 2007

um, help?

I can't decide if I need more advice or less. Maybe more advice from different people. I love Lawrence, everyone there is really nice and they seem to have the best interest of the students in mind. The students who I did meet were nice kids- normal, slightly immature 9th graders for the most part. Working there I would definitely be making a difference, really convincing kids that they have options, a future, that math is worth learning. Lawrence very much reminds me of Holyoke, it is post-industrial, large percentage of hispanic and low income students. Lots of Holyoke was great, it feels comfortable, but, there were also things in Holyoke that were difficult. Teaching 35 students by myself was nearly impossible. And I just found out that the classes in Lawrence can have as many as 45 students. That doesn't last very long because people drop out, get sent to night school and end up on a variety of paths that don't include math class. However, the fact that I could ever be faced with 45 9th graders is seriously intimidating. It also isn't helping that my father is worried. He doesn't think that I should be going into teaching to begin with, so its hard to decide when he's worth listening to, but even if I decide to ignore him, its still frustrating to know that I'm doing something he thinks is below me. When did teaching get to be such a lowly profession? Sure, the fact that the appartment I'm looking at is in a gated community doesn't exactly sing praises of the neighborhood, but I wonder whether that is a security blanket for people who drive through the older parts of Lawrence and get scared. Someday I'll have enough common sense to be scared too, but for right now, driving through 'bad' neighborhoods doesn't bother me at all. I'm just excited for the brand new high school being built, the beautiful yet affordable appartments 2 minutes away and the hiking trails and pond that lie in between. I have until Monday to decide, do I accept this job? Or else there's the job in Lexington, which reminds me far too much of Stepford Wives.

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