again?

I spent too many hours this afternoon in the math department finishing my rewrite and being nice to my math prof. I feel better about that class and I think he realizes now that I do care about the class, but maybe I needed that extra push.

After that was done, I lost all motivation, again. Its just too scary to start final projects because that requires acknowledging that this semester really is over. Instead I cleaned, caught up on all the little things and have been doing fun stuff! Juggling, needlepoint and reading about swimming are just as important as papers and lesson plans, at least for tonight.

play time!

I appreciate the diversity of my college campus, but one thing inherently lacking at any college is age diversity. As someone who is 5 at heart, I miss small children. So of course, when one of the students in the class I TA brought her nine-year-old daughter to the homework session tonight, I was thrilled! Earlier this year I played on a water slide with this adorable child. Tonight I taught her to play dots and she helped everyone destress by doing stretches. Her abounding energy and eager attitude were completely refreshing. How does one go about finding children to play with? Somehow I don't think Babies 'R' Us has them to rent...

guilty

My math professor made me feel awful today. It would be bad enough to just be told that I'm not living up to my potential. But since I've been reading all about classroom management I'm analyzing my study habits. Add to that the constant discussion of how we should learn concepts and not follow formulae blindly and I feel especially bad about the way I have been treating this class recently. Of course, 14 hours a week is totally unreasonable for one class, but I could have gone to talk to the prof when I was confused rather than staring at the problems and packets blindly. It would be easier not to care if he wasn't such a nice guy and I didn't see his point so well. Being a teacher isn't gonna be easy, I don't want to be disappointed in my students, or for them to be disappointed in me!

In other news, TA-ing tonight was a huge self-esteem boost. This group of students makes a particular effort to come to my hours (there are 3 TAs for this class). I'm doing something right!

who really lives here?

When gardening this weekend my mother decided that the annual plants were done for the year, and pulled them up. I took pity on a healthy one and potted it. That, plus on the way back I bought two ...one amaryllus plus one amaryllus equals two amarylli? Anyway, one orphan plant plus two bulbs places my pot count at sixteen. Only six species, but they are really starting to multiply and take over the room. I've been asked whether I'll be looking for an appartment or a greenhouse next year. It would be funnier if I hadn't chosen this room only because the east facing window provides healthy sunlight for the children. I need a name for the newest addition if its going to stay around a while, what is mathy and describes a feathery green and white plant?

flashback

My 8th grade graduation dress still looks good on me. I may just decide to wear a dress to graduation, for the irony.

Is that really all there is?

Tonight my parents and I thought we were attending a comedic play about high school reunions. We arrived at the playhouse to discover that the reunion play had ended and they were now showing "Is that all there is?" It turned out to be an uneventful and depressing show- mother dies at a restaurant, family sits shiva, the mother appears again (except she's dead- minor detail), then they tell her to leave and let them mourn. I don't know what the point was, other than accentuating jewish stereotypes, but it was a disappointing introduction to a new playhouse.

A recently divorced friend of the family came over for dinner tonight. He told us the last time he was dating it was the disco era. I find it incredibly amusing to imagine him at a disco. Its not quite as amusing as imagining my father with long hair pleading with his mother to let him attend Woodstock though. I wonder what the next generation will find funny about us? The bright colors, big hair and bouncy music of the 80's/90's for sure!

new things

I'm not sure what prompted me to start this blog: inspiration or the fact that everyone went to bed and I was left alone with my computer. I've been thinking of doing this for a while, too many random people watching my live journal. Yes, I am aware that this is even more public, but random people I will never meet is much more acceptable than random people I run into on occasion, who know things about my life they really shouldn't.

Thanksgiving makes me think about:
3 weeks left of my last semester of classes
I don't know how I'll spend next Thanksgiving- do adults have their own celebration?
every family has someone who gets on the rest of the family's nerves

I've also decided that every family has a history of alcoholism. The doctor asked me this morning if my family did, I laughed and asked what family didn't. She still told me to be careful- I promised to try not to head down the slippery slope. I do hope to sled down some slippery slopes this year. As refreshing as it is to do yardwork in late November without a coat, its just not normal in MA. Some have predicted a non-existant winter, while others forecast a severe one, I'd be happy with enough snow to ski and sled throughout January. If there isn't snow then I'm going to have no idea what to do with myself (I'm only teaching 2 hours a day and job hunting can't take up that much time). I better go look at the course listings again and find something non-snow-dependent to occupy myself with!